Not so Serious Mode:


Accomplished Today (So Far): Three pages, handwritten, cursive. My pens are running out of ink. I began another humorous fantasy story in which the heroes are an adventuring party comprised of dumb, greedy, maladjusted thugs. Needless to say, these guys are based largely on the worst examples of what I’ve seen in my decades long love-hate affair with tabletop fantasy roleplaying games.

If you critically examine it, the basic premise of most Dungeons & Dragons campaigns – kill the monsters, take the loot, accumulate godlike power – would lead to some nightmarish consequences, and that’s what stories like Fat Wizard’s Almanac and the as-yet-unnamed sequel that I started today are all about.

Here’s a little taste of the characters involved:

  • Bonicephus Magnanimoose – cleric of the Holy Order of Enlightenment. Pompous asshat, money-grubbing leech, unrepentant hypocrite.
  • Herk Hammhand – dwarven fighter. Claims to be the long-lost prince of a forgotten dynasty. Names his numerous weapons after women. Barking mad.
  • Felstaf the Polyamorous – wizard. No impulse control or common sense. Sexual omnivorous dirty old man.
  • Sheela – battlemaiden. None too bright. Rumored to be half-ogre. Ravisher of stablehands and serving boys.
  • Tippington Two-Blades – thief. The voice of reason. Eternally put-upon. Only owns one blade.

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